Mujhse Milne Ke Wo Karta Tha Bahane Kitne English Translation

Mujhse milne ke wo karta tha bahane kitne..., translates to English as, to meet me, he made, so many excuses... It was sung in Hindi by Chitra Singh and the best version will be found on side 2 of the 1978 LP record Ghazals. Back then, I was a student in college, and I remember listening to it and being totally blown away by the angelic voice of Chitra combined with the lyrics. There was so much emotion in the way she sang it that it totally captured me. The meaning is extremely subtle, using very subtle language, and therefore it requires much explanation, however even as a child I had some grasp of what she was saying.

The lyrics are about how before marriage and courtship one makes so many excuses just to meet the person, and after marriage it becomes a chore of simply passing the time. Yet one question in a woman’s mind that always remains is how long will he stay with her after marriage. In the lyrics, the play is on the word kitne, which they use many times in a general purpose way to mean how long, how much, and how many... In the first line she recalls how many excuses he made in order to meet her, and in the second line, she questions how long he is going to stay with her. It is a juxtaposed comparison between how many excuses he made, and how long he stays... It compares how much he wanted her, to how long he might stay. It is of course a universal truth that after the effects of love have worn off, the question in the woman’s mind becomes how many years is he is going to travel with me in this marriage. In the translation, kitne comes out in the middle of the sentences, instead of neatly at the end, hence I have coloured that part so you get a better idea of where to place the emphasis.

In lines 3, 4, 5, she is essentially saying that when she was down (gira), many stood, in waiting, which I always thought meant her suitors. This is because in the old days, the women would be sitting and the suitors would be standing. The man would then choose the one he liked and take her hand, and she would get up, if she liked him. However, what she badly wanted (so much) was for someone to lift (uthane) her spiritually and mentally, to make her completely theirs, just as she made him hers. Consequently, she was wondering why so few people understood this. Of course, it is a universal truth, that in life, there are many who will stand to be suitors, but only the rare one will actually lift you. We all want someone to lift us and to love us unconditionally, so we are completely theirs. This also leads the listener to understand that in a true love, you are raised, but in a false love, you are oppressed, because surely, if anything, true love is liberating.

In many ways, these lyrics explore and questions what true love is. Is it nature’s temporary hormonal experiment that usually does not last forever (love). Alternatively, is it something deeper and real outside of that, which lasts forever? A partner will walk with you forever only if they love you for who you truly are, and not for a temporary infatuation.

Meaning, Context, Approximations

Zakhm, wound of the heart

Bahane, excuses, promises

Zamane, era, long duration of time

Uthane, lift, raise

English Translation

Mujhse milne ke, wo karta tha, bahane kitne,

To meet me, he made, so many excuses,

ab guzarega, mere saath, zamane kitne.

now, (let’s see) how many years he spends with me.

Main gira tha toh, bahut log, ruke the, lekin,

When I was down, many people, stood in waiting, but,

sochta hu, mujhe aaye the, uthane kitne.

I was hoping so much, that someone would come to lift me.

Jis tarah maine, tujhe apna, bana rakha hain,

Just as I, made you mine,

sochte hounge, yahi baat, na jaane kitne.

I was wondering how much nobody understood this.

Tum naya zakhm, lagao, tumhe isse, kya hai,

You can apply new wounds (to my heart), what is it to you,

Bharne waale hai, abhi zakhm, purane kitne...

how much more can you break my heart now...